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humor humor, page 1

autre humour

En résumé (grâce à un LLM libre auto-hébergé)

  • A page dedicated to humor, including personal anecdotes and humorous drawings.
  • The author shares travel experiences, particularly in Egypt, with observations and photos.
  • Political quotes and funny stories are also present, such as the one about the Navy boat.

humor humor, page 1

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**August 27, 2005: ****Chaplin
to the Rescue
( 1 MB video ) **

Update of June 13, 2005: New items

August 9, 2005: Two
Weeks in Flouzeland

August 23, 2005: The
Misadventures of Noah
( anonymous author )

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...In December 2000 my wife Claire and I went on a trip to Egypt. The goal was to try to unlock the secret of the pyramids, and I think we found Imhotep's brilliant idea. But that is another story, which will be the subject of a chapter in my future book, scheduled for release by Albin Michel during the summer of 2001. ...I am not much of a photographer. I prefer to bring back sketchbooks from my travels. But certain situations call for a snapshot, in the "incredible but true" style. Below, a photo taken in the Luxor funerary complex, in a part restored by archaeologists (French? German? Egyptian? We do not know). These people, as is commonly done in Egypt, assembled blocks that were lying scattered around the site. In the background, one can make out part of the portico of one of the temples. Then, just in front, two rows of lotus-form columns. This photo could be titled

Find the mistake:

** March 2004**: I returned to Egypt at the end of February 2004. The people in the group did not want to believe this story. But we did indeed find this inverted stone in the Karnak complex. Notice another thing. At the top left of this stone with the upside-down feet there is another one bearing a "cartouche." At the bottom one can make out the solar disk. Two remarks are called for. First, what on earth is that stone bearing the cartouche doing right next to the foot of the figure immediately to the left. Answer: nothing. Second remark (if you know hieroglyphs): this cartouche is also mounted upside down. In short, this part of the temple is really ... a mess.

..January 17, 2001: : End of the suspense, two readers have finally found the solution to the wordplay invented by the mathematician Jean-Marie Souriau. To get the solution, click on it, after checking that you are over eighteen.

elementary particle

..The two winners are:

  • Xavier JANC, student. Currently doing a master's at the Ecole des Ponts et Chaussées.

  • Dominique GIGON, computer scientist, from Saint Denis (93).

..Congratulations to both. I ask them to send me their address so that I can reward them for their commendable efforts.

January 26, 2001: I brought this back from a recent trip to England. Bought at Victoria station. Who, if not the English, could get away with selling postcards in a public place, on a large scale, showing Prince Charles in a rather singular position?

Damned, where could I have stuffed that blasted ball?

**The definition of theoretical physics according to Jean-Marie Souriau: ** 3 4 5 6 7 8

**September 23, 2002: Some quotes from G.W. Bush: ** - We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

  • The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country. - If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. - A low turnout is an indication that fewer people went to vote. - It's not pollution that attacks the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are responsible. - The future will be better tomorrow. - For NASA, space is still a high priority." - I believe God created the world. And I think we are discovering more and more and more how it actually happened. - I think we agree: the past is over.

La Palice is completely outclassed.

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New items from March 2004:

Luxor-Cairo flight, February 2004

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In a mummification workshop:

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Roswell: the final word on the matter:

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**From Xavier de Raymond: **

** To live happily, let us crash **

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May 2, 2004

**17 - On the walls of the Sorbonne, ... forty years ago. **

May 10, 2004

18 - (18-19-20: 100 euros)

19 - (18-19-20: 100 euros)

May 18, 2004

20 - (18-19-20: 100 euros)

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22 sold

July 7, 2004: I am posting two drawings by Olivier Boisard, who specifies his © Address of his site: http://www.catrine-fait-rien-k-rien-faire.biz

Drawing by Olivier Boisard

Drawing by Olivier Boisard 07/28/04

23 08/23/04

25 sold

26 - Autumn 2004: state of the dollar (sold)

27 (sold)

28 sold

Private Joke 29

J.P.PETIT's original humorous drawings are for sale, signed by the author and dedicated.
Price: 50 euros including postage. Indicate the number of the drawing. Same price for customers abroad. Checks to be sent to J.P.PETIT Villa Jean-Christophe, chemin de la Montagnère, 84120, Pertuis
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**True story **

The following story is true (those who want to verify can contact the Canadian maritime authorities, the incident took place in October 1995). Transcript of a radio communication between a US Navy ship and the Canadian authorities off Newfoundland...

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision. Over.

Canadians: Rather divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid a collision. Over.

Americans: This is the captain of a US naval forces ship. I repeat: please change your course. Over.

Canadians: No, please divert, if you will. Over.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES NAVY FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY 3 DESTROYERS, 3 CRUISERS AND A LARGE NUMBER OF ESCORT SHIPS. I ASK YOU TO DEVIATE FROM YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COERCIVE MEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF OUR SHIP. OVER.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Over.

Americans: silence...




June 2005. Fred grappling with Souriau over subtle problems of theoretical physics ---

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**Thibaud Damour and the Branes: **

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**

**The pre Big-Bang, according to Veneziano, inventor of superstrings and recently appointed professor at the Collège de France: ** --- ** **

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( appreciated especially by the rare readers of this work, particularly hermetic )

Clarification: the qualifier "blinding simplicity" is from ... Souriau himself! ( August 2005 )


August 23, 2005

The Misadventures of Noah

( anonymous author, passed on by an "avid reader," Jean-Pierre Hardy )

In the year 2005, God visited Noah, who lived not far from the sea, and said to him: "Once again the earth has become uninhabitable and overpopulated and I must act. Build an ark and gather a pair of every living being as well as a few good humans. You have six months for this before I send rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, God looked down and saw Noah sweeping his yard, but no ark.

  • Noah, he thundered, I will soon send the rain, where is the ark?

  • Forgive me my God, implored Noah, but times have changed. I needed a building permit to start the ark. I had to fight for several months with the inspector about the fire alarm system. Meanwhile, my neighbors formed an association because I was violating the subdivision rules by building an ark in my yard and was going to obstruct the view. We had to go before the mediator to reach an agreement. Then the Urban Planning department filed a report on the costs of the work needed to allow the ark to reach the sea. I tried in vain to tell them that it is the sea that would come to the ark, they would not believe me. Getting enough wood was another problem. Environmental protection associations joined forces to prevent the felling of trees, on the pretext that we were going to destroy the habitat of several animal species and thus put them in danger. I tried to explain that on the contrary all this wood would serve to save these species, nothing worked. When I began gathering the pairs of different animal species, the SPA, the WWF and Brigitte Bardot came down on me. On the pretext that I was locking up wild animals against their will in rooms too small for them. That by doing so, I was committing acts of cruelty toward animals. Then the government agency for sustainable development wanted to launch a study on the environmental impact of this famous flood. At the same time I was struggling with the Administration over the use of volunteer workers in the construction of the ark. I had hired them because the unions had forbidden me to employ my own sons, saying that I should call only on highly qualified workers in ark construction and if possible unionized. To make matters worse, the tax office seized all my assets, claiming that I was trying to flee the country illegally, followed in this by customs, which added that I wanted to bring species recognized as dangerous across the borders. So forgive me, my God, but I do not even know if 10 years would have been enough to build this ark."

At once the clouds dispersed and a magnificent rainbow appeared. Noah raised his head and said:

  • O, Lord, are you not going to destroy the world?

  • No need," God, the government is taking care of it.

In the year 2005, God visited Noah, who lived not far from the sea, and said to him: "Once again the earth has become uninhabitable and overpopulated and I must act. Build an ark and gather a pair of every living being as well as a few good humans. You have six months for this before I send rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, God looked down and saw Noah sweeping his yard, but no ark.

  • Noah, he thundered, I will soon send the rain, where is the ark?

  • Forgive me my God, implored Noah, but times have changed. I needed a building permit to start the ark. I had to fight for several months with the inspector about the fire alarm system. Meanwhile, my neighbors formed an association because I was violating the subdivision rules by building an ark in my yard and was going to obstruct the view. We had to go before the mediator to reach an agreement. Then the Urban Planning department filed a report on the costs of the work needed to allow the ark to reach the sea. I tried in vain to tell them that it is the sea that would come to the ark, they would not believe me. Getting enough wood was another problem. Environmental protection associations joined forces to prevent the felling of trees, on the pretext that we were going to destroy the habitat of several animal species and thus put them in danger. I tried to explain that on the contrary all this wood would serve to save these species, nothing worked. When I began gathering the pairs of different animal species, the SPA, the WWF and Brigitte Bardot came down on me. On the pretext that I was locking up wild animals against their will in rooms too small for them. That by doing so, I was committing acts of cruelty toward animals. Then the government agency for sustainable development wanted to launch a study on the environmental impact of this famous flood. At the same time I was struggling with the Administration over the use of volunteer workers in the construction of the ark. I had hired them because the unions had forbidden me to employ my own sons, saying that I should call only on highly qualified workers in ark construction and if possible unionized. To make matters worse, the tax office seized all my assets, claiming that I was trying to flee the country illegally, followed in this by customs, which added that I wanted to bring species recognized as dangerous across the borders. So forgive me, my God, but I do not even know if 10 years would have been enough to build this ark."

At once the clouds dispersed and a magnificent rainbow appeared. Noah raised his head and said:

  • O, Lord, are you not going to destroy the world?

  • No need," God, the government is taking care of it.

Humor-Math ( for
scientists )

**August 27, 2005. Reported by a reader, Mr. Silverthorn. Seen in today's Yahoo.news: **

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Exploring the e-mails received during the day ---

"

Homo Telesapiens ---


September 19, 2005

**Do you recognize yourself in this image? ** ---




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