Ummo France Inter Interview
Ummo
October 14, 2005
The France Inter journalist was pleasant. We did the interview in my kitchen. It’s rare that I agree to appear on radio or television these days. A month earlier, I’d rudely turned down a TV reporter without regret. Television only serves to sell stuff when you’ve got something to sell— one appearance, ten thousand copies sold; two appearances, twenty thousand, etc. No TV? Then nothing much happens. In 1997, my book "We Lost Half the Universe" didn’t get a single media echo. Except for one radio station, where a man told me at the end, "I know I’ll be criticized for this." Too bad—it was a good book.
I’ve been on panels with ufologists. How boring. There was even an episode where I was on with a university-based ufologist whose speech was nearly frozen in place. Those familiar with the scene will know whom I mean. I remember falling asleep mid-interview. I wasn’t that tired, but when I think back to how long it took that guy to string together two sentences, it reminded me of the Marseille expression: "the time it takes to kill a donkey with figs."
Radio has always felt more alive. I have fond memories of shows from twenty years ago with Jacques Pradel. I also recall great moments with the Belgians, who certainly don’t lack humor. I remember one unforgettable TV show in Belgium. I was following a very dynamic and efficient press officer. I was scheduled to go on at 1 p.m. At the time, RTB’s studios had been installed in the former residence of Baron Empain, right in the heart of Brussels. They’d simply fitted the entrance to an old salon with thick, heavy soundproof doors.
We were late. It was a race. Showing up late for a live 1 p.m. broadcast is a bad idea. The press officer and I were sprinting down the circular corridor, the click-clack of her high heels echoing, knowing the show had already started. Suddenly, she pointed to a door and said, "That’s it." I trusted her and pushed hard on the handle. On the other side, a strange noise. After the broadcast, I watched the video recording. We’d picked the wrong door. It was a near miss that the entire set might have collapsed on the journalist. Belgian viewers must have thought they were witnessing a real earthquake live on air.
It’s true there are some amusing memories in the mix. Especially from the era when so much was done live. I remember a show twenty years ago on MHD with the Bogdanoff brothers on "Temps X," where I was holding two wires feeding a model. I hadn’t expected them to heat up so much. Igor, who clearly saw I was burning myself, was laughing hysterically and deliberately dragging it out.
The France Inter journalist was intelligent and witty. The theme of the show was "Possible and Impossible Stories." It went well. After she put away her tape recorder, she wanted to go to the bathroom. We couldn’t delay too long, as I had to drive her to the train station so she could catch the TGV back to Paris. Suddenly, knocks on the door. I went to check. No one had ever locked the downstairs bathroom door before, and now it had jammed.
- You’ll have to unscrew the lock from the inside...
I looked. The mechanism was arranged so that the screws were... on the inside, and the bathroom had no window. I could already picture myself hacking the door open with an axe. Fortunately, she eventually figured out the right move and managed to free herself.
I called her today to tell her how much I liked the way they’d edited the piece. They’d also had fun doing it. I thought it was quite good—original. Sometimes you can convey a fairly meaningful inquiry in the tone of a joke. We talked again about the bathroom incident, which was unique in her career.
- The problem is, I’ll have to replace the entire lock...
- No. Just put a screwdriver inside, with a note explaining what to do.
No doubt about it—women have more practical sense than we do.
To listen to or replay this 55-minute broadcast.
Warning: 21 megabytes!
--- * Radio Canada, 1991: Just for fun, an interview given by the author in Quebec about the Ummo affair. Posted October 23, 2005. Link
Number of visits to this page since October 14, 2005: