The Misadventures of Noah

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August 27, 2005: Chaplin to the Rescue (1 MB video)

Update from June 13, 2005: New additions

August 9, 2005: Two Weeks in Flouzeland

August 23, 2005: The Misadventures of Noah (anonymous author)

...In December 2000, my wife Claire and I went on a trip to Egypt. The goal was to try to uncover the secret of the pyramids; I believe we came up with Immothep’s brilliant idea. But that’s another story, which will be covered in a chapter of my upcoming book, scheduled for release by Albin Michel in summer 2001. ...I’m not much of a photographer; I prefer bringing back sketchbooks from my travels. Yet some situations call for a photograph—of the “incredible but true” variety. Below is a photo taken in Luxor’s funeral complex, in a section restored by archaeologists (French? German? Egyptian? We don’t know). These people, as is common in Egypt, assembled blocks that were scattered around the site. In the background, you can see part of a temple’s portico. Right in front, there are two rows of lotus-shaped columns. This photo could be titled:

Find the error:

March 2004: I returned to Egypt at the end of February 2004. The group members refused to believe this story. But we indeed found this upside-down stone in the Karnak complex. Notice something else: above and to the left of this upside-down stone, there’s another one bearing a “cartouche.” At its base, you can make out the sun disk. Two observations come to mind. First, what is this stone with the cartouche doing right next to the figure’s foot on the left? Answer: nothing. Second observation (if you know hieroglyphics): this cartouche is also upside down. In short, this whole section is really... nonsense.

..January 17, 2001: The suspense is over; two readers finally found the solution to the pun invented by mathematician Jean-Marie Souriau. To access it, click here after confirming you’re over eighteen years old.

elementary particle

..The two winners are:

Xavier JANC, student. Currently pursuing a master’s degree at École des Ponts et Chaussées.
Dominique GIGON, computer specialist from Saint Denis (93).

..Congratulations to both of them. I ask them to send me their addresses so I can reward their commendable efforts.

January 26, 2001: I brought this back from a recent trip to England. Purchased at Victoria Station. Who else but the British would dare sell postcards in a public place on such a grand scale, showing Prince Charles in a rather peculiar pose?

Damn, where did I put that damned ball?

Jean-Marie Souriau’s definition of theoretical physics:

September 23, 2002: Some quotes from G.W. Bush:

We’re prepared for any unforeseen event that may or may not happen.
The vast majority of our imports come from abroad.
If we fail, we risk failing.
Low turnout indicates fewer people voted.
It’s not pollution attacking the environment; impurities in our air and water are responsible.
Tomorrow’s future will be better.
For NASA, space remains a top priority.
I believe God created the world. And I think we’re discovering more and more about how it happened.
I believe we agree: the past is over.

Palice is completely outclassed.

March 2004 updates:

Luxor-Cairo flight, February 2004

Inside a mummification workshop:

Roswell: The final word on the matter:

From Xavier de Raymond:

To live happily, let’s crash.

May 2, 2004

17 – On the walls of the Sorbonne, forty years ago.

May 10, 2004

18 – (18-19-20: 100 euros)

19 – (18-19-20: 100 euros)

May 18, 2004

20 – (18-19-20: 100 euros)

22 Sold

July 7, 2004: I’m posting two drawings by Olivier Boisard, who notes his © website address: http://www.catrine-fait-rien-k-rien-faire.biz

Drawing by Olivier Boisard

July 28, 2004

August 23, 2004

25 Sold

26 – Autumn 2004: State of the dollar (Sold)

27 (Sold)

28 Sold

Private Joke

Original humorous drawings by J.P. PETIT are for sale, signed and dedicated by the author. Price: 50 euros including shipping. Specify the drawing number. Same price for international customers. Checks should be addressed to J.P. PETIT, Villa Jean-Christophe, Chemin de la Montagnère, 84120, Pertuis.

True story

The following story is true (those wishing to verify can contact Canada’s Marine Affairs; the incident occurred in October 1995). Transcript of a radio conversation between a U.S. Navy ship and Canadian authorities off Newfoundland...

Americans: Please alter your course 15 degrees north to avoid a collision. Over.

Canadians: Please instead alter your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision. Over.

Americans: This is the captain of a vessel belonging to the U.S. Navy. I repeat: please change your course. Over.

Canadians: No, please change yours. Over.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES NAVY. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISES AND NUMEROUS ESCORT SHIPS. I ASK YOU TO CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH OR RESTRICTIVE MEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO PROTECT OUR SHIP. OVER.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Over.

Americans: Silence...

June 2005. Fred grappling with Souriau over subtle issues of theoretical physics

Thibaud Damour and branes:

The pre-Big Bang era, according to Veneziano, inventor of superstrings and recently appointed professor at the Collège de France:

(especially appreciated by the few readers of this highly esoteric work)

Note: The term “blinding simplicity” comes from... Souriau himself! (August 2005)

August 23, 2005

The Misadventures of Noah

(Anonymous author, submitted by a “diligent reader,” Jean-Pierre Hardy)

In the year 2005, God visited Noah, who lived not far from the sea, and said: “Once again, the Earth has become uninhabitable and overcrowded; I must act. Build an ark and gather a pair of each living creature along with some decent humans. You have six months to do this before I send rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, God looked down and saw Noah sweeping his yard, but no ark in sight.

Noah, he thundered, I’m about to send rain; where’s the ark?
Forgive me, my Lord, pleaded Noah, but times have changed. I needed a building permit to start constructing the ark. I fought for months with the inspector over the fire alarm system. Meanwhile, my neighbors formed an association because I violated zoning rules by building an ark in my yard, blocking their view. We had to go to a mediator to reach an agreement. Then Urban Planning filed a report detailing the costs required to enable the ark to reach the sea. I tried to explain that the sea would come to the ark, but they wouldn’t listen. Securing enough wood was another problem. Environmental groups united to prevent tree cutting, claiming it would destroy habitats and endanger wildlife. I attempted to explain that all this wood would actually save those species, but to no avail. When I began gathering pairs of animals, the SPA, WWF and Brigitte Bardot came after me, accusing me of imprisoning wild animals against their will in cramped spaces, thus committing cruelty. Later, the government’s sustainable development agency wanted to conduct a study on the environmental impact of this flood. Meanwhile, I struggled with authorities over using volunteer workers to build the ark. I hired them since unions forbade me from employing my own sons, insisting I only use highly skilled, preferably unionized builders. To complicate matters, tax authorities seized all my assets, claiming I intended to flee the country illegally; customs added that I planned to smuggle dangerous species across borders. So forgive me, my Lord, but I wonder if even ten years would suffice to build this ark.”

Instantly, clouds dispersed and a magnificent rainbow appeared. Noah raised his head and asked: